In the Midst of Grief

I just want to share something that I’ve learned these past couples of weeks.

Last Wednesday, I was watching Netflix when I got a call from Noah that his Grandma Marlene was sent to the ER. I jumped in the shower and headed over there. On the way over to the hospital, I drove in silence and prayed for healing, but I also personally asked God to teach me something. It hasn’t been since 2013 since I’ve watched someone fight for their life. That was Dan Dammer and I watched him take his last breathe. That experience started some of my depression. I was actually really scared to walk into the ER, not knowing how my emotions would play out. Not knowing what memories would come back.

But God has really taught me some things that I’ve needed and I want to share.

1. We are not in control. As hard as it is to come terms with, seeing someone struggle and fighting for their life has personally taught me just how out of control life can be. It is the Lord that is holding the world in the palm of His hands. He is in control. He is sovereign. Not a second goes by that He has not allowed of ordained. He loves us a little more every day.

1. Days with the sick are gifts, and they are precious. We find ourselves in constant prayer and hope for their health and life. It has taught me what it looks like to truly see each day as a gift from the Lord. If we get the sick for just 10 more days, it is a gift. If we get them for 2 years, it is a gift. Each and every second, every moment are gifts.

1. Trusting the Lord means trusting in His goodness regardless of circumstances and test results. During the scariness of test results and seizures, we all have a real and powerful decision. God is either good or He isn’t. He is either good regardless of results and the circumstances, or He isn’t. He tells us He is good, and it is not dependent on anything in the world we can see. His character is outside of our comprehension. He is who He says He is and as Christians, we get to spend our lives experiencing it.

Marlene sent me this video and it makes me smile every time. She passed away last Sunday night and today is her funeral.